why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
