no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
