Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
