I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
