nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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