Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
