please come you make the beer taste better
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
