i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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