I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I love black thongs
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
