If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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