Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
