Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
