no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
