She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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