Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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