ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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