You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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