i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
