I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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