Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he shaved USA in his pubs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
