he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
