So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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