True but thats because hes a fetus.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
