Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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