She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
