i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
