he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
