i'm lost and i look like a hooker
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
