He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm at about main and main street
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
