Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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