Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize