we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize