i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
