you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
