Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
