honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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