Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
