You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
