I hate your face
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
