so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
