Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize