I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
