i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
