He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize