I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
