You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
