Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
