I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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