I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
