so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
