how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
