I'm going to jail i love you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
