i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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