please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
