I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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