Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
