people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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