i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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