I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
