I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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