none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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