Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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